I AM smiling

I made a large pot of coffee on Saturday, more than I would drink in a single morning, specifically because I’m lazy and thought I would just drink the second half of the pot the following morning. 1  Saturday morning I didn’t see any of the white mugs we’ve been using lately, so I switched to one of the Impressionist-artist themed mugs in the back of the cabinet.  I drank my coffee, had a good day, and all was right and well with the world.  The following morning I poured another mug of coffee, drank that and went back for a second – to discover there was barely any coffee left.  I had just made enough for four cups, so what gives?

It turns out that the white mugs are smaller than the Impressionist mugs by about 1/3.  After making more coffee it slowly dawned on me…  very slowly…  I had been under-consuming coffee2 for almost the last year by about two-thirds of a cup.

Totally unrelated story of this morning.  The coffee shop near my work is apparently undergoing a remodel.  Which explains why no one was there to serve me coffee.  Back across the street to a restaurant that I generally don’t frequent to get coffee. 34  I go in, ask for coffee, and the woman behind the counter5 asked me if I had been there before.  “Yes, a while ago, but I usually get my coffee from Pete’s.”  She went on to explain they have all fair-trade organic coffee, it doesn’t have an aftertaste, and it’s very good.  I said something polite and non-committal – but, really, I would have still bought it and drank it if she had told me their coffee was made from baby seals and brewed with orphan tears.

It occurs to me that I could have done a “This is not normal.  But on meth it is.”-meme style joke. 6

1. Photo courtesy of patries71 [↩]
2. That’s a thing, right? [↩]
3. I’m a simple man and this is an unreasonably complex cafe.  You walk up to the counter, order your meal, then sit down, if you want water you go get it yourself, someone brings your meal to you, and then you go back to the counter to pay.  It’s this weird hybrid between self-service and service that I’m just not comfortable with. [↩]
4. Plus, they were kinda rude to a friend of mine. [↩]
5. She had the air of an owner about her [↩]
6. If you’re not familiar with the meme, you could click through – but some of it is NSFW [↩]