Category: Random Nonsense

Sometimes I just feel compelled to share nonsense, random thoughts, and sometimes just stuff I want to save

No I don’t!

it's a matter of size (bigger is better)Short is relative

Suck at brevity, that is. 1  That post has some useful links I’m quite confident I’ll look forward to re-reading.  As this blog is as much an external extension of my memory as it is a method of expression, I’m hopeful you might find them interesting as well.

 

  1. Photo Credit: William A. Clark via Compfight [↩]

Maybe Google is Evil after all

Evil monkey from the movie about the evil monkey that smiles awkwardly
Evil monkey from the movie about the evil monkey that smiles awkwardly

Dear Google,

You’re over-reaching.  A year ago, I would have defended your name against accusations of evil-ness. 1  Today, is a different story.

Google, you’re in my work computer, my laptop, and my phone.  You already know my every move – and yet you’re always asking for more.  You have my credit card, you see my work e-mails, personal e-mails, cell phone calls, where I live, my wifi router, IP address, and even the IP address and physical location of anywhere I log in with a Google service.  I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure you know my race, gender, exact birthday, social security number, name of my immediate family, and have a complete list of friends. 2

You’re like a needy creepy co-worker who just shows up at parties.  Parties where everyone made a lot of effort to not invite you to.  For a variety of reasons I live a double3 online life, the likes of which Don Draper would appreciate.  This online life does not intersect with the other online life and that online life tangentially intersects my real life.

Four years ago I signed up for a Google account – which still has e-mails in it.  Then Youtube insisted I log in with a Google account, so on a whim I used this four-year-old account.  And Google asked for my birthday. 4  On yet another whim5 I used the birthday of a website of mine – since that’s the reason I was logging into Youtube.  Since that website is only four years old, Google shut down that account as swift as can be.  If I want to unsuspend the account I’ll have to (a) give Google a credit card they can charge and use to verify my birthday (b) send, e-mail, fax, or mail a copy of some government ID with my birthday on it.

No, Google.  I will not do this.  Burn the account.  Destroy it and all the e-mails.  Google, you certainly have a way of reminding me that the things I use are not mine – they’re yours.  Let’s say I decide to change our relationship?  What does that mean?

Both of my jobs use Google to support their mail.  So, that’s out.  Otherwise, I’ve got four Google e-mail accounts.  Could I do without them?  Yeah, I really could.  What about Google analytics?  I like it, but I don’t live and die by them.  Most of my sites are WordPress now, so I could just use WordPress’s JetPack/stats plugin instead.  Adsense?  I make so little off of Adsense I could give a crap.  Google+?  Don’t make me laugh.  Google, for the moment you’re my default search engine, but you’ve made that creepy too.  There’s no reason I couldn’t switch to something else.

After twelve years, I’m finally had enough.  I think I’m ready to start cutting the cord.  I should nuke all of these worthless Google accounts.  What the hell do I need this kind of grief for?

Sincerely,

MakerBlock

Default Series Title
  1. Photo Credit: Jason Scragz via Compfight [↩]
  2. Then again, how long could such a list be? [↩]
  3. Triple even! [↩]
  4. WHY GOOGLE?! [↩]
  5. Two in one day?! [↩]

How should I give out two Free Maker Faire Bay Area tickets?

Geek Chic @ Maker FaireGeek Chic @ Maker Faire

After we already bought weekend passes for the Maker Faire Bay Area, I happened to have been given an two day pass tickets. (( Photo Credit: Steve Jurvetson via Compfight))

Now, what is the best way to give these out?  I think I’d like to do a design challenge, but I haven’t decided.  Do you have any suggestions?

I have re-written this exact post subject line no less than five times

My pencils? My pencils are sharp enough.
My pencils? My pencils are sharp enough.

and I’m still not satisfied with it.  ((Photo Credit: Emi Yañez via Compfight))  Ze Frank may just be my brand new hero.  You see, all the things he says in this video are the exact kinds of things I could really stand to hear right now.  I’ve listened to this particular video probably three times now.  I don’t want to listen to it too often as I will probably accidentally memorize it.  I don’t want his words to be like the world “oatmeal” when repeated over and over so that it becomes mush in my mind, devoid of meaning.  I want it to feel like he’s calling me up and leaving an awesome voice mail on my phone.

The title of this post is an interesting thing/problem.  I had several amusing and slightly clever titles.  I rejected several of them after writing just a few words, rejected before they were even fully articulated.  Finally, as with the pencils Ze mentions, I found that the pencils at my disposal were sharp enough.  It was more important to start, than to get it right at first.

No, I’m not just referring to the title of this post.  I’m in the process of launching something on this other website.  I’ve been working on this project off and on for three years.  It’s been super close to launch for the last few months – just waiting for me to do some finishing work.  I’m almost there…

My pencils are sharp enough…

What was I thinking

Time is the fire in which we burn
Time is the fire in which we burn

I’ve got this website I’m working on and I’m trying to launch a new product. 1 The last time I launched something there I built a quick hacky WordPress plugin using PayPal to serve up the product once a person had made an electronic payment.  Not only was it hacky, but looking back almost 2.5 years at that code I want to cringe.

Here’s part of the problem.  I hate PayPal so much.  They have ugly payment buttons, all the buttons are branded PayPal – which is a mixed blessing2 , unless you have a merchant account your users have to go through PayPal’s payment screens on their site – which causes users no end of angst, the user has to sign up for a PayPal account – which is a whole new layer of tech support nightmares when dealing with the technologically challenged, and I could go on.

I figured I’d give Stripe a shot, it’s supposed to be developer friendly.  After wrestling with it for two hours I’m giving up.  It’s not that it’s bad, it’s that I’m tired and I’m just not getting it and it’s easier to think like myself-as-a-crappier-coder-two-and-a-half-years-ago and fix up what I’d written than it would be to learn Stripe and shoehorn new code into my old code.

Some days I just want to tear down that website and start from scratch.  I just don’t have the time.

On a completely unrelated note, I’m loving this new CompFight WordPress plugin.  I’m extra happy about it since I contributed a quick one-line fix that helped improve the plugin.  This one little plugin is going to basically make it about 100 times more likely I’m going to be able to drop a fun image into my posts.  CompFight is a website that streamlines searching for Flickr CC licensed images.  I was actually toying with the idea of making such a plugin when I found out they just developed their own.  Awesome.

  1. Photo Credit: Riccardo Cuppini via Compfight [↩]
  2. Good:  People know and trust PayPal.  Bad:  It’s freaking PayPal and kinda looks hokey. [↩]

Another way to perform A/B testing in WordPress

I ran across this article on how to do “split testing” also known as “A/B testing” in WordPress.  Basically, this process uses a Google Website Optimizer Plugin and Google’s Analytics tools to handle all the heavy lifting.  Once you create the control, test, and goal pages you would configure your Google Analytics account to look for trends in which of the two pages, the control or the test, performs better.

I’m not crazy about this method which relies on Google Analytics for two main reasons:

  1. Most importantly, it does not appear to swap control/test content for users.  Rather, it appears to simply observe which of the two concurrent pages works better.  This literally requires twice the marketing effort, since you would have to publicize both links to see which works better.  I prefer the ShrimpTest method which swaps out specific content in a single page.  This way all of your efforts can be concentrated onto one single page.
  2. This Google Analytics method is too complex and requires too much coordination between the website and Google.  Now, I love me my analytics.  I like seeing the ebb and flow of visitors, downloads, etc – and few people do it better than Google.  But, with A/B testing I just want to know as quickly as possible whether A or B is better.  Nothing else matters.  I want that knowledge as soon as possible so that I can move on to A/B testing something else.  With ShrimpTest I just need to configure the plugin, make the control and test content, and wait for a result.

I’m getting ready to launch a new product on this other website that I run.  I’ve already got ShrimpTest configured and ready to roll.  I cannot wait to see what happens.

Kids’ books reading lists for parents

Wired’s GeekDad blog recently posted a really great list of book every geek should read to their kids before they’re 10.  I’ve read a lot, but not all, of those books and now I’m looking forward to reading them with my daughter.  Since I kinda wish that list were in a checklist format, I’ve gone ahead and typed it up here:

  1. The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick
  2. The Wind In The Willows by Kenneth Grahame
  3. The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamileo
  4. The Junie B. Jones series by Barbara Park
  5. Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, Falling Up by Shel Silverstein
  6. The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
  7. The Princess Bride by William Goldman
  8. Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
  9. The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
  10. Coraline by Neil Gaiman
  11. Half Magic by Edward Eager
  12. Arabel’s Raven
  13. Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson
  14. The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett
  15. The Borrowers by Mary Norton
  16. The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
  17. The 13-1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear by Walter Moers
  18. The Cartoon History of the Universe
  19. Danny Dunn series by Raymond Abrashkin and Jay Williams
  20. Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney
  21. The Adventures of Harold and the Purple Crayon
  22. The Mad Scientists Club by Bertrand R. Brinley
  23. The Percy Jackson and the Olympians series by Rick Riordan
  24. Savvy by Ingrid Law
  25. The Shredderman series by Wendelin Van Draanen
  26. The Narnia series by C.S. Lewis
  27. The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo
  28. The Far Flung Adventures series by Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell
  29. The Mouse and His Child by Russel Hoban
  30. Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O’Brien
  31. The Penderwicks series by Jeanne Birdsall
  32. The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
  33. The Toys Go Out series by Emily Jenkins
  34. Where the Mountain Meets the Moon by Grace Lin
  35. The Search for Wondla by Tony DiTerlizzi
  36. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
  37. The House With a Clock In Its Walls by John Bellairs
  38. Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume
  39. Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
  40. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
  41. The Silver Crown by Robert C. O’Brien
  42. Holes by Louis Sachar
  43. The Big Orange Splot by Daniel Pinkwater
  44. Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder
  45. Stuart Little by E.B. White
  46. The Railway Children by E. Nesbit
  47. From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg
  48. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
  49. Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage
  50. The Mysterious Benedict Society series by Trenton Lee Stewart
  51. A Whole Nother Story by Dr. Cuthbert Soup
  52. The House of Dies Drear by Virginia Hamilton
  53. The Lorax by Dr. Seuss
  54. Tikki Tikki Tembo by Arlene Mosel
  55. Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne
  56. The Little Bear Treasury by Else Holmelund Minarik
  57. A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L’Engle
  58. Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
  59. The Amelia Bedelia books by Peggy Parish
  60. In The Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
  61. Curious George books by H.A. Rey
  62. Frog and Toad are Friends by Arnold Lobel
  63. Owl at Home by Arnold Lobel
  64. Henry and Mudge by Cynthia Rylant
  65. The Clifford the Big Red Dog books by Normal Bridwell
  66. The Arthur series by Marc Brown
  67. Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

Dammit.  Just as I finished typing this I noticed someone in the comments had already done so.  Oh well.

I guess I might as well add some of the other books mentioned by the commenters:

  • Paperbag Princess by Robert N. Munsch
  • The Mouse and the Motorcycle
  • Story of Babar by Brunhoff
  • Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Buam
  • Secret Garden
  • The Swiss family Robinson
  • Island of the Blue Dolphins
  • Tripods trilogy by John Christopher
  • Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carol
  • Chronicles of Prydain series by Lloyd Alexander
  • The Tripod series (The White Mountains, The City of Gold and Lead, The Pool of Fire) by John Christopher
  • The Fablehaven series by Brandon Mull
  • Watership Down
  • Artemis Fowl series

Stories about Girls part 1, part 2

http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2012/03/67-books-for-kids/?pid=1185&viewall=true

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