This morning I came in late to work, mostly because I had stayed up late working on work.  One of the staff made a joke that I was sneaking into the office like one of my co-workers. 1  I responded thusly:

I don’t sneak in or out.  I arrive just like I leave, with a clap of thunder and the smell of sulfur.

It’s only mildly true.  When I walk in late or leave early, I do so without apology.  We all have things we have to do, so why pretend otherwise?  Not being able to leave work at the office is a gift and a curse.  If you start working before you put on pants and eat breakfast, but then walk in a little later, who’s stay this way is any worse or better than another? 234567

Oh, and the sulfur?  It’s a glandular thing.

1. He tends to sneak in, and then sneak out [↩]
2. Well, I suppose an efficiency expert. [↩]
3. Then again, I’m pretty sure you’d find my peak efficiency somewhere after a good night’s sleep, a quick jog, a long shower, a short nap, two cups of coffee, and one slice of cold pizza. [↩]
4. What do you mean it’s noon? [↩]
5. When studying for exams in grad school I essentially became nocturnal.  It’s too bad everything’s closed at night. [↩]
6. One late evening/early morning my girlfriend and I decided to sew a parafoil kite, but the nearest place to get fabric at 3am was a Wal-Mart 45 minutes away.  Amusingly, at that time of day/night/day I was a lot more cheerful than the greeter. [↩]
7. See, it’s not that I’m surly in the morning.  It’s that I’m surly at night and I’m just more advanced than most people. [↩]